Old Langsyne, 2013.

Having begun to draw my pension this year it’s only likely the world will end in 2012. ‘Sorry’ seems insufficient somehow. I know there’s global warming, food shortages from the weather in spasm, economic melt down, the end of the Mayan calendar, and Nostra fucking Damus, but the truth is my pension. I’m really really sorry. And then there’s a high probability of a meteorite impact from the galaxy going into a flat disc orientation. The last time this happened was thousands of years ago and it toasted the dinosaurs. Oh and the weather and seismic activity we’re experiencing at the moment is typical of an imminent polar shift. That’s where the north/south magnetic poles, and presumably a fair proportion of the earth’s core, swop ends in just a few days inducing mega tides and even worse weather. And then there’s catastrophic rises in sea levels along with a scarcity of fresh water as water tables get lower and lower. Honestly I’m so so sorry. I mean if I’d known I’d have just taken the tax free lump sum. I’m going to buy a lottery ticket in January just to make sure. If I win, well it’ll be ‘good by everybody it’s been nice knowing you.’ But looking on the bright side, Happy Christmas, and here’s to us all singing Old Langsyne in 2013.