George Eustice takes One for the Firm.

Carrying on from Matt, please let me wear long trousers, Hancock, George Eustice, relieved of his duties as Minister for Food and Rural Affairs, is now saying the great trade deal with NZ and Australia he personally delivered is in fact a bad deal. He’s saying he thought so at the time but because of ‘collective responsibility’ he lied through his teeth to Parliament to get ‘any old deal’ in order to make his Brexiteer party look good. This is like going into an Auto Spares shop and asking, “Will this part fit my car?’ The guy says ‘yes’ and you waste a day proving it’s won’t. You take it back fuming and he says, ‘Sorry mate you’ve opened the package, you can’t return it now, it’s company policy.’ This is how the farming industry is feeling right now. The whole idea of ‘collective responsibility’ effectively makes nobody personally responsible. Outside Westminster we have laws to stop this shystering behaviour but apparently not in the Department of Food and Rural Affairs; just change ministers and ‘no harm done’. But it’s one thing selling the wrong Renault Scenic lower control arm and another selling a whole industry down the river. Just like Matt Hancock, it’s more proof that Westminster is in the grip of the corrupting influence of bullying.

Matt Hancock in the Jungle

So Matt Hancock’s in the jungle hoping to prove he’s a decent guy worthy of public forgiveness. Good luck with that. But he is achieving something we should thank him for. We never get a true insider view of the Conservative Party and Parliament, just prepared pieces to camera for general consumption. In the jungle Matt’s become a voluntary POW under the interrogation of a million viewers. Now we know what the enemy’s made of, have a true picture of the toxicity of Westminster. Matt is a version of my fourteen year old self, gawky and ungainly, scrabbling for some understanding of the adult world ahead of me, painfully aware that what I’ve pieced together thus far is insufficient but perplexed by what it is I’m missing. It was a profoundly uncomfortable time. ‘Who am I? What are girls for? What are my beliefs and boundaries? How should I and my face react?’ Etc. That Matt is the same at forty four I put down to schooling and his time at Westminster. So much arrested development is due to bullying, fear and constant uncertainty, but it’s hard being stern with a puppy who can’t understand a word you’re saying. No my anger is squarely aimed at Westminster and the Conservative Party. The whole place is based on bullying. The front benches bully the back benches, the two parties bully each other, and together they bully the country. Their only excuse is, ‘it was ever thus.’ And the result? The whole country is in a state of arrested development! Like Matt Hancock we’re all running round trying to do our best held in a grip of constant confusion, unable to reach our true potential because of politely spoken bullies like JRM. So in a way thanks Matt, your personal exposure might expose a far more important corruption in our political life.