Boredom News.

Life is becoming more boring, it’s official I read it in the Guardian Guide. Yes teenagers have been right all along. Whilst we of an elder disposition poopooed it as a revolt of the narcoleptics they had their finger on the failing pulse of society all the time. Music was the first rabbit squashed under the steam driven roller. Tunes have been reduced to what you can hum whilst paralytic and time signatures to 1,1,1,1. TV is now just archive material of the top 50 famous bits from reruns of program repeats and internet cat porn. And Downton Abby, the third series of which will be scenes from the first two cut up and reassembled endlessly to suit WW2, the miners strike, the Falkland war and the 2008 economic crash. Similarly ‘current’ news is the constant repartition of the same old political mistakes, murders and cats up a tree rescues. Newspapers in a valiant if misguided attempt to find something new in this iterative boredom resort to phone hacking the dead and installing CCTV in coffins in the vain hope there may actually be more life after death than there is before it. Even knowledge itself, which used to be mainstay of human progress, has been sidelined to the province of autistic geeks to which no self respecting normal should be seen to have any inclination and be more rightly involved in the astronomical price of Calvin Klein boxer shorts. But even shopping is now more trying than buying. The megaplexes of consumerism are now only jaded Disneyland displays of what we used to be able to afford, with the queues for changing rooms about as long as a ride on the lunch-loosing, ‘Flume of Oblivion.’ In fact the flume of oblivion is an apt description of our accelerating gravitational lurch into our chosen destination of discomforting dampness. Or perhaps it’s just me fighting against the onset of incontinence.