And You Are?

This is a heartfelt plea to all fellow sufferers to come together and lobby the government to recognise our condition. Bad spellers have achieved it, thick people, people who find other people utterly tedious, and standard bearers for bad language. SNRM is just as socially devastating as having a boss eyed condition where you’re always talking to the person next to the person you’re looking at, like sharing a hilariously funny smutty joke with a mate then realising you’ve been looking at his wife the whole time. No, suffering from SNRM, ‘Slow Name Recall Memory’, is no joke. For example it takes me upwards of 4 seconds to remember a name, so on the numerous social occasions requiring a crisp, “Hello Philip” I only manage to stumble through, “Hello..er…..slight cough… well er…scratch... how are you, er?” While Philip waits patiently I’m thinking, ‘I know him, I know him I, er, he does electrics, yes, married to Louise, no that’s Steve, his daughter’s called er’ and so on. And even that’s not right because Louise isn’t Steve’s wife or Philip’s, in fact I don’t think she’s married, and the woman I was actually thinking of was Emily who’s married to Roger who have a son called Sam who I mistakenly asked Philip’s wife about earlier thinking he was their son. And I still can’t remember her name! In fact if I had touretts all I’d manage would be, “You…..er…….(jerk)……. er……….. ………………….wanker!” by which time it would all be too late. If it’s Alzheimer’s all I can say is I was born with it. Honestly I would have envied my old pension salesman who would open with, “and how’s your wife Sandra and the boys, Kevin, Russell and Smidge?” if it wasn’t for the fact he was a money grabbing, heartless prat.