Goodby Food Friends.

Stop doing this to me! Providing irresistible blog material. Today Mothermouse gets a letter in the post offering us friendship with a tea bag! That’s right, two young women (pictured) from Yorkshire Tea are offering us two free teabags (enclosed) in exchange for our friendship with a teabag. That’s just one each. If one of my existing human friends offered me a teabag on my birthday I’d be offended and they’re not, well they’re not teabags. My friendship cannot be bought with a teabag! And besides that how am I supposed to have a meaningful relationship with one anyway!? Is it going to forgive me for pouring boiling water over it and, when I’ve thoughtlessly extracted what I want from it, throw it in the compost bin? No it wouldn’t work, we’d drift apart, cite musical differences and come to hate each other over who’s going to get custody of the children. What would they think of me breaking up the family for an illicit relationship with a small bag of leaves? And then said young ladies go on to recommend I add it as a friend on Facebook! What’s it going to do, post me pictures of comical teabag t-shirts and tell me it’s just been for a lovely walk? They then go on to suggest I can follow it on Twitter! Follow a teabag on Twitter?!!!! What like, “I’m going in….I’m coming out… oops now I’m lying in the remains of yesterday’s cottage pie.” I’m not interested in the private lives of teabags, I don’t want to be their friend, and I’m definitely not going on to You Tube to follow the hilarious exploits of one. In fact I’m so incensed I’m going to delete all my Face Book foodstuff friends. I have my pride.