A Whitehall Farce.

It’s not hard to point out the farce in the farcical; it’s like hitting a barn door the size of the Universe. Gordon’s just been to see the queen. His question usually reported as asking for the dissolution of parliament is in fact, “I’m going to dissolve parliament. Have you heard what I have just said?” to which the royal answer is, “Yes.” And that’s just the beginning. Half the population is reading newspapers extolling the need to “Save Britain!” A noble sentiment until you realise most of those newspapers are owned by a Russian oligarch presumably sponsored by a Russian think tank who have recognised war is not necessary if you can control what the opposing country thinks. And of course Rupert Murdoch, the Australian American universal friend of the powerful who supported New Labour’s move to the centre ground but has now found the centre ground a bit to leftish for his liking and thrown his coin behind David Cameron who, when Murdoch was asked what he thought of him, replied, “Not much”, confirming Obama’s view of, “Who’s that? (He’s a) Lightweight.” Still having the persona of a public school boy behind an aging face he has 0.1% of the credibility of Dr Who and 1% that of Jewels who plays bass on Sundays at Woodseats WMC. On the other hand Gordon has the gravitas of gravy. Take note MS Office 2000, ‘gravitas’ is word that your dictionary really should be aware of. So this is an election between light and heavy. Are we to drift off into outer space born up by the lighter than air froth of the Milky Bar Kid or sucked into the bowels of the earth by an overweight Bisto Kid? It’s not an enviable choice. And why? Because we have a professional political class who’ve been thinking politically since they were knee high to Aneurin Bevan and Robert Peel, notice not liberal warmonger Churchill who was only handy for special events. Their knowledge of the society the rest of us live in ended at seven when their nanny left to have a hysterectomy and live on her own in a basement flat in Kentish Town.

How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: Six hundred and odd, but it won’t happen till after the next election.