Relationships and toast.

Remember the last time you lost control of your toast and it landed jam-site-down on the floor. OK it has been scientifically proven that the time it takes to fall from the average worktop is equal to the time it take to rotate through 180*, but apart from that you notice it happening time and time again with saddening regularity according to the tenets of Sods Law. Sods Law is as reliable as gravity. If a nut can fall into the most inaccessible of places it will. If, after following a caravan for miles, a straight road appears, traffic will also appear travelling in the opposite direction. So why? Why does this universal phenomenon consistently happen?  It’s all to do with cave men. They were always on the look out for lions and tigers because they would make them go, “oh shit!” unlike squirrels, tortoisouses and ladybirds. We are programmed to notice what might eat us. OK toast won’t eat us but we still notice what we don’t want to happen just the same. When things swim along we don’t notice but when they don’t we do. So Sods Law is universal because we carry it our own perception. Now relationships can go swimmingly but the moment shit approaches the rotating blades your partner is toast. Well not toast in the vernacular, but Sod will most definitely point his accusatory finger just as he did at the oncoming traffic and the infirmed caravan. One becomes Sod himself laying down the rules of your own perception. This person is acting like the nut that knew the very place you didn’t want it to go, and went there. OK I can’t blame the nut, because it’s, well, metal, but I do, but I can blame a supposedly aware thinking, caring being, so it’s open season for partner shooting. How could they! They are of course as oblivious as the oncoming drivers, the nut and one’s toast of one’s invisible Sod governed perspective. They may continue to whistle a happy tune, which through spectacles the colour of Sod is an affront, positive proof if it were needed that they are clinging onto denial as protection from ‘The Truth’, brandishing their bum of defiance in your face of frustration. They may act unawareness as if there is no lion in the undergrowth, proof again they are ignorant, foolhardy and self-obsessed. As they react to this negative perspective Sod has got his way and his law, yet again is found to be true.