Djembi UK.

In an effort to get away from this bloody election let me take you to the magical multicultural extravaganza that is the Tribe of Doris. Once a year Doris assembles her people in England’s beautiful countryside to experience the creative arts of the world. Begin if you will by joining Dr. Olu Taiwo for some early morning Tai Chi before breakfast. Its gentle slow movements will set you up for the rest of the day. Breakfast is probably Tibetan muesli. In the morning you can choose between Seckou Keita, advanced djembi or, if you’re still holding some residual anger of being a city dweller, Alia Al Zougbi who will teach you Capoera, the ancient art of ghetto knife fighting without knives and accompanied by djembi. Sorry that should be Flavio Grillo; Alia Al Zougbi teaches belly dancing to a derbouka, which is like a djembi but smaller. Easy mistake. After a brief dinner of boiled Yaks milk against a background of distant djembi players it’s back to the culture. Why not form a circle around Binta Susso to learn some Madinka songs, or Felipe De Algeciras for some fiery flamenco. And to round off, in the evening there’s always Sheikh Dede to take you Sufi Whirling. Yes for one week a year us English sample the cultures of the world rather like non-smokers smoke a cigarette. The action is simple, they know what to do yet the result is utterly unconvincing. Now before you accuse me of being snide I’ve done African dancing and Raga singing etc and I have to say I’m just the same. In my hands a djembi is not a rhythmical instrument and my African dancing appears to stem from Woking. These teachers from around the world must take one look at us and think, well, they’re English! Multicultural my arse, we’re English, we can’t pick up a, what shall I choose, a djembi for example and play it just like that. Culture takes at least one or two generations to change, not five times in one day. We’re pathetic, we do Morris dancing for God sake! and sing ‘Oh come all ye faithful.’ And we’ve got Nick and Gordon and David tonight, not Alia Al Zougbi, Flavio Grilla and Olu Taiwo. God I’ll be glad when it’s over and I can get back to digging my allotment and go down’t pub int evening.