Prohibition. The follow on?

Remember Star Wars, the Dark side, Luke Stiffmouse, Skywalker’s trusty rodent? No? It wasn’t a big part. Well let me tell you, Death Stars cost money, big money. Even Darth couldn’t do it on his own what with his bad chest and all. I bet you’ve never even thought about the Storm Trooper wage bill! Imagine the trembling accountant who had to ask, “But Mr Vader, how are we going to pay for it all?” and in a sickening wheeze came the reply, “Prohibition George.” Vader explains,

“In the

beginning

the Jedi were

good. So good they

needed to protect themselves

from bad things. So they invented

Prohibition. But they still did bad things

because they had freedom of choice and that.

So the Empire sold them bad things and took their

money. That George is how we pay for all this shit.”

“But we need more to pay for the new planet blaster.”
“Then ramp up the supply of narcotics numbskull.” Zzzermm, tschitsss, padump.
“Oh sorry I didn’t mean to do that.”
Anyway so it was in the beginning. Well not actually the beginning, a bit afterwards, but definitely a long time ago.
But the rebels led by Luke and his mouse fought back, Ferrrrss, kmow, mernamerna. They were losing. In desperation Luke stood up, “We must stop doing these bad things. Our money is paying for the evil Empire!”
“Oh man drugs are the only way to make television interesting!”
Obi-wan appeared, “Trust the force Luke.” “But they’ll all do bad things!” “So let the fuckers die Luke, they’ll soon learn. Stop looking after them.” So it was that Luke made all bad things legal.
When Darth Vader heard the news he was distraught. His evil empire would crumble without the money from the illegal supply of bad things. He transported himself to Jedi HQ in Stroud to see Skywalker.
“I am your father Luke. Huurrrs.”
“Well that explains it all dun it! All those ‘don’t do this and don’t do that.’ I believed you father!” A tear welled up in Luke’s eye, “and now you are rich on the profits of supplying all those bad things!”
“Son, huurrrs, I was young, I had your education to pay for. Huurrrs. Join me Luke. You’ll be just the same when Princess Lia starts nagging you for an extention.”
“But she’s my sister.” “OK I’ll sell you a nice Polynesian girl.”
“No Vader, you are no longer my father, anyway I’ve made Polynesian girls legal now. And I get the tax on them. Hah!” Luke swiped him with his light sabre.
The man lay broken on the floor. “Ah taxation. Why didn’t I think of that.” Padump.