Tuesday 31 March 2020

Lockdown Diaries day:= f(y) + integral sin x dx.


The limits of the integration are between 0 and the day before yesterday and the y is the basic existential question. Jerry, my new black current child is doing ok. Actually I was briefly concerned I may have committed bigamy with a black current bush but I guess I’m only fostering Jerry so that’s.. oh and my religion states I can marry one of any species so it would have been ok anyway. And the worms are still worming so that’s ok too. Did you know you can cut and bore through granite with a copper mandrill connected to a vibrator? (true-Youtube it) Obviously not a ladies one, a more industrial type. Some think the shepherd’s crook object oft seen in Egyptian hieroglyphs is a vibrating stick for such a purpose. Apparently DeWalt are working on a plumbing fitting strapped to a boombox playing Black Sabbath, but that hasn’t been confirmed. And the reason Cusco, that’s Cusco not Costco, rocks fit so well together is they found some organic sediment that softens rocks, so whack ‘em together and in fifty years they fit like a glove. And of course, the pyramids were built under water. When the floods came they floated in the foundations and as the waters rose they added the next layer and the next till at high tide they topped it off with polygon. You learn a lot on Youtube. (actually it’s a polyhedron, but ‘polygon’ seemed funnier) Anyway I’ve now realised the government’s policy for Corvid-19. It’s like a Y9 disrupting a class. “Right that’s enough! Go and stand outside the door. It’s not useful and it’s not funny!” And when that happens in 2035 they’ll all be asking, how come your parents called you Corvid Johnson?

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