Lockdown- That’s it!

News at, well basically the C word any time on Radio 4. Interview; woman kneeling outside care home talking to her 90+ grandma, her bed rolled appropriately, on the phone through a window. Lovely grandma and they ended singing ‘We’ll meet again...’ That was it. Basically the poor old dear will be in lockdown while there’s contagious people people still running around. When is that going to be? Yes there are vulnerable people, the gov is supposed to have sent us all a letter so they know who we are, though I haven’t received mine yet. Meanwhile our collective future is crumbling before our eyes, which I have to admit has some positives to it: the stocks of summer fashions will all be going straight into landfill. But, Bolero Hot Pants aside, this current situation is bad for everyone. Enter the Stiffmouse solution. End the lockdown today but give the over seventy fives and other vulnerables cart-blanch to have a field day. Give us each a few grand, nah a hundred grand, free tickets to Saturday Night Takeaway, an evening with a star of our choice, exemption from speeding tickets, and a new vehicle. Honestly it wouldn’t cost that much. Most of us would be pushed to spend ten before I had a coronary from meeting Sandra Bullock or wrapping my new Ducati round a tree. And the rest would go to my kids and straight into a new house building boom. We’d all go out happy as Larry on a new batch of memories.
And the guy I saw today ‘kinda’ running down the road in shorts looking every inch he’d never exercised a day in his life before could go back to his lethargic ways.