Lock Down Diaries. Day 3.

Someone’s nicked our milk, the bastards! OAPs in lockdown and I’m going to have to jeopardise Mothermouse’s life to go get some more if the hoarders haven’t cleaned out Sainsburys already. But it’s prompted a topic on my mind yesterday. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to shame all those who act against our common good and applaud good sorts that act for it. Sorts like Garry Neville and Ryan Giggs, and unlike Richard Branson who’s just donated three pairs of used underpants to the NHS in appreciation of several multimillion pound contracts, or Jacob, the filth, Rees Mogg who’s already frantically buying up all the shares in crematoriums he can. We need to create a roster of sorts, from true heroes to filthy scum, from acclaim to the sort of shame that any amount of anti-viral hand jell will never get rid of. This calls for a national database. Anyone can enter a name and then anyone can look him/her up and enter a score. Nothing to do with wealth, looks, position or anything like that, just are they, in your personal opinion, a good or bad person. It could range from Heroic (+100) to Totally Despicable (-100) It’s the wisdom of crowds put to good use. One’s individual total divided by the number of entries will level out scores so Michael Gove doesn’t blow the internet. It’s the ultimate in group therapy. Everyone will know their own score and know that everyone else knows it too. They won’t be able to say ‘my face doesn’t fit’ or ‘he/she’s always picking on me’ or ‘it’s because I’m wealthy’ or ‘because I’m in public life’. No, if your score is over -80 it’s because you’re a total shit. End of. Get over it. Do something. Be proud of improving your score. Be nice, and return our milk!