Lock Down Diaries. Day 5.

Dear Dave, Britney, Betty and Ruby, 

      Should the worst happen you will all need to take over, so here are some suggestions. Dave, as the only male you’ll need to ward off immigrants, particularly Cocky Black cat, Pretty cat, the Siamese one and that dark ginger one that looks a nasty piece of work. Britney you do the brainy work. You already know how to open the cat food bags and sachets with a claw, where the milk is in the fridge and where the central heating pipes run under the floor. You can give Ruby some milk but not a lot, she’s already too plump for her age. There’s another fridge in the cellar but you’ll need both paws to open it, and there’s a cat food shop halfway up Meadow head on the right, but watch the dog, he’s a bit odd. By the way Brit, the Ale House is closed now due to the virus. Sorry to say it but the central heating will likely go off if you can’t arrange a standing order, which to be honest even for you is unlikely. I know it’s a blow but desperate times. Also the birds won’t come round unless you can manage to get into their food tub and scatter some seeds on the ground. It’s just outside the kitchen door. Betty, you’re the best mouser and you’ll all need the extra nutrition when the fridge runs out. I know sharing doesn’t come naturally but try your best and don’t let Dave eat it all. And for god sake strap a pair one. It’s a good ten years since I tried to get you in the cat carrier. I was not and never have harboured thoughts of murdering you. Ruby, you’re the youngest but old enough to help out. Life’s not just drinking milk and playing on the cat-nip mat. Lastly if you get bored the remote’s pretty easy use and there’s a piano in the attic. Try Twitter, there’s loads of cat vids on there.