Sponsor Me.

Quick, your days of opportunity are numbered! In a couple of weeks the universal excuse for doing anything that comes to mind will be gone till next year. I’m talking about, “I’m doing it for Sport Relief.” Yes, from bathing in sardines to mooning at policemen, all can be sanctioned as doing it for a good cause. If only the politicians had been smart enough to fiddle their second home mortgages on the grounds of Sport Relief we would have had no option but to just go, “Ahaa, but they’re doing it for a good cause.” If bankers had donated 1% of their millions to Sport Relief we would cherish them for their generosity. But no, avarice mitigates against such wisdom. So what are you going to do with this window of opportunity to venture outside the clamping restrictions of everyday life? As James Cordon and Barak Obama in the surprising company of Bob the Builder would say, “Can we do it? Yes we can!” Imagine if you were a builder and did a good job for a reasonable price just once for the hell of it you could utter the magic words, “Sport Relief” and all would be well. Or staple your managers tie to his chest and call him a ***** along the lines you’ve dreamt of doing for the last six months. Big smile and bingo, “Sport Relief.” But what about all your dreams of foolish challenges hidden in the recesses of your imagination? Whatever they are they can all be aired in this time of universal permission. From learning the piano to trying out transvestite-ism, just enjoy and say the magic words. I am going to cycle to Buxton for example, once I’ve got the lycra. Then of course there’s Kate Humble. I wonder if she’ll be up for doing a bit of Sport Relief? Sponsor me anybody?