The Arrested Police.

Yesterday I received a letter from Detective Chief Inspector Tom Whitely, South Yorkshire Police. With trepidation I read the following bold type-

“Our records show that:

• You are the registered keeper of a Mercedes motor vehicle, registration number A123BCD
• A member of our staff saw your vehicle at 19.10hrs on 3/3/2010 parked at Outsidemyhouse Road.
• It was noted at the time that a detachable stereo was left attached.”

S Yorkshire Police had taken the time to look in my car at my stereo at 7.10pm in the evening, note it down, take it back to the office, type me a letter and post it (30p). This at a time when they are apparently so overrun with work they can’t intervene to stop persistent anti social behaviourists. What are they trying to tell me? “If your radio is stolen it will be your fault and we will prosecute you for inciting anti social behaviourists into anti social behaviour.”? In my defence your Honour it’s been parked there every night for eight years without causing incitement and the little button that releases the front that should render it anti anti social is broken, thus causing it to be un-detachable. Lawyers will ponder over whether a detachable stereo rendered un-detachable by a fault can be categorised as in and of itself not detachable, taking into account that its original design was to be detachable and thus making it attractive to anti social behaviourists if left attached. Now with a few notable exceptions the human race, if given the option, will sit on its arse in the warm looking out of the window at the rain and unfortunates reduced to working therein. Men in caves sat by a fire and looked out: Romans sat over under-floor heating and mused at the toils of their servants. The police it seems are following this noble tradition by sitting by their central heating watching their CCTV screens typing letters to law abiding citizens reminding them that it is their duty to stop crime. We are approaching the day when the only people the police DON’T  talk to are criminals; “they’re nasty, violent and devious and we want nothing to do with them. The public are causing these crimes by their own negligence and weakness and we will stop at nothing to eradicate such behaviour.” So if you don’t want to be troubled by the police join a gang and beat up passing pensioners and steal detachable stereos. Lets face, they’re the ones who’re making you do it.