Sexual Brain Surgury.

A friend of mine recently posted an advertising video for shamanic sexuality workshops which I remember doing some ten years ago. The video explains that we all, particularly youngsters, would benefit from freeing ourselves from the guilt and shame surrounding sex and that shameless and guiltless we could go on to experiencing fabulous sex and in the process heal ourselves and the earth. Laudable aims even if the video laid them on thicker than Barbara Cartland’s makeup. Now I was a teenager once, in fact I remember comparing genitals with the girl across the road when I was five. I fell in love with the landlady’s daughter at twelve and I was the first to have a girlfriend at fourteen. After that I have to admit there was a bit of a drought, but I don’t remember being troubled by guilt and shame. OK like most kids I was shy and frustrated like when I didn’t get to fondle Maggie Weller’s tits or reach nirvana up Rhoda’s leg or other stuff I’m not prepared to admit to here but guilt and shame? Not really. Sure I experienced the limitations of what was socially acceptable but that’s nothing to do with me personally. So I do the sexuality workshop. Inside the confine of the workshop what was socially acceptable was admittedly more relaxed but still governed by its own social acceptabilities, and I was introduced to the concept that I should try to overcome my feelings of guilt and shame about sex. Well thanks for the idea implant, not. Then there’s saving the earth by shagging. Now I’m the first to admit I’m not that good at it but being surrounded by people who can apparently do orgasmic brain surgery in the bedroom was a bit of a downer. In fact I began to feel the shame and guilt they were talking about. I was failing my partner, failing our healing and failing the earth. I set too to learn the techniques of these miracles. If I stroke that like this, breath like this and be sexy like that I could… but all I got was a headache from trying to remember it all. Slowly sex stopped being the most natural intuitive intimate and fun thing two people can do and became an intellectual mountain I was failing to climb. And finally I was coupled with a woman I’d barely said hello to to practice what I’d learnt. To be honest I’d rather we’d had a coffee and a chat. And these amazing people who have amazing sex? They kind of make me glad I’m not amazing. Dam, that must mean I should feel guilt and shame.