Who's Bad?

As this blog is for the more discerning reader who won’t have watched it I’ll Streeeepify the inaugural meeting of last night’s new Celebrity Big Brother series and the F Listers’ first taste of champagne since their dreadful lawn mover accident went viral on You Tube in 1997.  Mr Starzan Stripes kicked off but, being old and confused, soon got lost in the toilet. A perky Eastenders young lady, born in episode 3 to Dot and Jim and presumably now resting in prison or a canal, joined, followed by two blond Hugh Hefner play twins and a similarly shaped page three girl. Mr Stripes and the play twins like most Americans faced with our quaint English reality appear brainless so far but it’s early days. A Welsh gay rugby player; where do they find these people, a young fey nob and a TOWIE resident. And then the recent failure par excellaunce of  X Factor, Frankie Cocozza, the McDonalds easy eat patty in the Big Brother bun. Frankie is trying to write himself into our consciousness as the ‘bad boy’ of pop. He began tastefully enough by shagging the majority of his holiday camp female staff members whilst his mate tattooed their names on his bottom, a feat that in my imagination is damn nigh impossible, so kudos to the guy. His inability to sing, his bad whipped diesel hair, his bad behaviour have in fact been so bad he’s single-handedly managed to reset the definition of bad, so expertly reversed by Michael Jackson, back to bad. Yes Frankie, you have to be good to be bad. Anyway it’s nice to have the word back so thanks for that. Then the peck over after program where an underdressed fairy god mother with a microphone wand conducting a pompous panel of self promoting pratts and an audience of norms, so pleased to have been selected they whoop with delight over someone saying ‘the’, assess the meat. We now have an immediate use for our newly reclaimed word. In fact bad doesn’t even cover it. In fact by the end I’m beginning to feel I am that person trying to tattoo girls’ names on Frankie’s bouncing bottom. Who’s bad?