After the gales woke me up all night they blew over our recycle bin dumping bottles and converting our empty cans into far-flung wind chimes all over the neighbourhood. It was a pleasant sound so I left them to it. Plan for the day was to insulate our airing cupboard which required the purchase of an 8’x4’ sheet of Celotex insulation board. Considering the 60mph winds I decided, seeing as even the short journey from shop to car might lead to me showing up on some air traffic controller’s radar, it would be better left to another day. I had lunch. What the hell I’m retired, that’s a busy morning for me. Sod it this isn’t going anywhere, I’ll slag off Merrill Streeep. She’s nut squashingly crap at acting. You can see the stage directions running through her mind, “OK Merl baby, three paces forward, move head right, smile, look unsure, raise hand. Cut. No no no, a smile is where you show your teeth, no not like that, like when you’re pleased, remember being pleased? Oh, OK well it’s like when you trod on that baby and its head popped off, yeh, and you smiled yeh? Like that.” Anyway we just watched Mama Mia because Man U was losing 3:0 to Newcastle. That film is toasted exploding gonads crap! So what if they had a ball making it, I enjoy a good defecation but I don’t film it and put it on in cinemas with surround sound! Wasn’t she in ‘The Hours’? Honestly NEVER go to see that film unless you’re considering suicide and looking for a reason. I know she could play Ilse Koch – The Nazi SS Bitch of Buchenwald who made lampshades and handbags from prisoner skin and really did squash prisoners’ nuts. Anyway Merrell has given me great pleasure over the years like a piñata, a hanging effigy you beat with a stick till it bursts and sweets come out. It’s not all bad.
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