Big Brother’s back!

Big Brother’s back! And Mothermouse’s ovaries are singing ‘Praise the Lord’ over some slip of a designer stubbled male model who manages to look seriously overdressed in just a pair of jeans. I can see her point. In fact I don’t understand how a torso that makes jeans look superfluous has been chosen to promote their sales. And he’s a touch awkward which, blustering males take note, is far more attractive to the weaker sex that know they’re in charge. But I’m more taken with the young woman from Essex as in ‘the only way is’. She has the perfect vacuity of a blow-up. It’s not sexual attraction, it’s intrigue as to how she manages to walk and talk at all, and sometimes both at the same time. But one does sense she is a fully-fledged human being unlike the young American actress who is already posing the question, ‘Is there really anyone in there?’ Then there’s the paparazzi guy who I imagine will attempt to show us his intellectual side and the Irish slugger who appears to exhibit the same mental damage as Keith Richards only from a different punishment. And in counterpoint, Sally Bercow, wife and mistress of the leader of our ‘other’ house of mere commoners, who appears her own intelligent woman and is likely to know that Putin is the Russian Prime Minister and not the terse way Latvian prostitutes address their customers. Pamela Hoffmeister, nee Anderson, looks a fun loving girl of at least fifty who also suggest the American cult of celebrity is not just a way of life but a way of being. And then, and then, there’s Jedward. I can’t for the life of me imagine Jedward asleep in bed, however much I’d like to. That would require them to cease moving and talking which surely can’t be possible. Fops on acid they are neither vacuously Essex nor plastically alien, being too young for Botox. They’re Irish sprites jittering our human consciousness in all its nonsensical directions, proving, better than Shakespeare ever could, that in whatever role we choose to strut this mortal stage it’s of little consequence. Oh and nice young lad from Coronation Street. Bless. All in all a good mix to gawp at for the next few weeks.