Pigeon Coalition Fights back.

Day 6: The pigeon is going up in the world. By forming a coalition to thwart the evil empire, i.e. Britney, Darth Vader and Karadan Molosovich, Derek, yes Derek, is now into his sixth day under our witness protection scheme. He began in the shed on the floor scuttling about behind piles of never to be used plastic plant pots, a small coffee table and a pressure washer. The cardboard box he was in originally had to be discarded because the bottom got soggy from poo and when Britney got in while I wasn’t looking and upset box and water container, and it’s probably safe to say, Derek. So he’s now been promoted to ‘free range’, a badge, which every supermarkets shopper will know, can be worn with pride. The first free range day he progressed from floor to the handle of a garden pressure sprayer to the rear carrier of an old bike. In fact as he perches stock still, every time I enter it reminds me of reading ‘Where’s Wally?’ to the kids. From there he moved to the fairing of my motorcycle. This was tantamount to biting, or rather crapping on, the hand that feeds him. After tense negotiations we reached a compromise. He stayed where he was, which was brave in the circumstances as he could be seen by the cats through the window, who took to pawing it maliciously. Today he’s perched on the back tyre of my pushbike, which is hanging high up on the wall to save space. So long as I talk pleasantly to him he seems quite unperturbed. As his food is untouched on the floor Mothermouse is now suggesting I build an aerial platform for him to feed from. No problem, just 6 foot of 3” by 3” from Wickes, a couple of anchor bolts to the floor and small piece of marine ply cut, no doubt, from an 8 by 4 sheet costing a thousand pounds. No, if I can spend my life grovelling around down here, so can he. No offence Derek.