Allowance for Job Seekers.

So lads tell me about yourselves. 

“I’ve got 5 GCSEs, one A, 2 B’s and a C; 3 A levels in English, media and political studies, and a degree in Media Management.”

“I’m the same with a degree in Environmental Studies.”

OK. Are you good with your hands? They smirk.

“How do you mean?”

Well mechanics, gardening, building, electrics, that sort of thing?

“I went on a field trip once and grew some tomatoes.”

And you?

“No.”

So what have you learned to do?

“Well I learned about running a recording studio.”

Oh you’re musical?

“No.”

You mean the technical side?

“No.”

Oh you mean accounts, scheduling, invoices, VAT and stuff?

“No accountants do that sort of thing.”

Oh, so what does a manager do?

“Der, he manages. He talks to the acts, makes sure everything’s alright and everyone’s doing what they should be doing. You know, managing.”

And what have you learned to do?

“It’s like our environment is very important and people should be very aware of it.”

But what have you learnt to do?

 “Well make people aware of our environment and how important it is.”

And how do you do that?

“Well you make people aware…”

Hold on, I know that. What have you actually learned to do on your degree course?

“Oh the course, oh education these days is not about producing factory fodder. We’re not trained to do ‘a’ job as such. It’s about, well it’s about education.”

Education is about education?

“Ye right.”

OK I understand now. Well I can’t offer you a job as such but I do have an opening for farm labourers. They usually know loads about nothing useful. Should be right up your street.