Sex. A Synopsis.

In the animal kingdom the two sexes are divided into ‘those that get it’ and ‘those that have it.’ Males ‘get’ the sex and females ‘have’ the babies. Nature has imbued males with the drive for it and females the enjoyment of it, on the basis it can lead to a lot of faff and trouble on their part, and needs a good front end, as it were, to make it all worthwhile. This though leads to much confusion. Males get confused between drive and enjoyment. They often find themselves banging away wondering ‘why am I doing this?’ and conclude it’s because they enjoy it. They come, as it were, to a conclusion and it’s good night all. It’s not so much enjoyment as fulfilling the drive. Females on the other hand aren’t focused on mere drive and are often misperceived as not wanting it. Wrong. They’re focused on what might be round the corner and are in it for the real enjoyment. Now this is far more complex than simply giving in to the coercions of one’s erect stick. They know that a possible baby, like a puppy, is not just for Christmas. It will have multifarious needs. I’m not suggesting, during union, they will be absorbed in considering suitable offspring names but rather a whole panoply of emotional requirements. Hence rich and powerful males who also display tenderness are the best turn on. As we mice say, “Show ‘em your cheese and give ‘em a squeeze.” And connected to these emotions is an erogenisity of such exquisite sensitivity that males can only dream of. Not for them the quick releases of a catapult, but rather the slow burn of a roman candle. If males possessed such erogenous potential they would likely undergo surgery to get to it themselves. Actually the nearest the male can get to a full, rounded female orgasm is watching football. So ladies, next time your partner screams uncontrollably, “Spurs one, Chelsea nil” in his moment of orgasm remember he’s just doing his best to join you in your emotional heights.