“She used to be fresh-faced and carefree. Now she’s bitter, exhausted and driving Brad away.” Angelina, that is. Now I know Mothermouse and me outrank Angie and Bradee on the age front on account of mouse years being shorter than LA’s, but we can do those transformation between elevenses and afternoon crumpets. Even quicker if Mothermouse embarks on a second bottle. First for Bradee was Jenee, who we all know is the love of his life because she’s so nice in Friends, even though he doesn’t the thick sod, until Jenee went off with a Portoreecan (even my spell check can’t help there) and had a baby by a dumpster technician’s assistant. Make that twins. No, triplets. Or was that Britney? So anyway Bradee turned to Angie for solace and they had seventeen children by deed poll. For a couple of short years they were seen happily shopping for normal things together with babies strapped to their elbows, and then the cracks began to appear. Bradee was seen ‘on his own’, a sure sign something was up. Angie was caught crying after a friendly photographer asked her to hold his finely diced onion. Rumours began to flow. Bradee had been seen returning home after losing at Fight Club; Angie in dark glasses, and that can only mean one thing. Lucky for us Heat magazine is there to give us these continual in-depth reports. Where would we be if we didn’t know the absolute truth? Meanwhile Girls Aloud ginga singer, Nicola, has made a SHOCK (in pink) confession that her skin is falling off. Though blamed on sun beds I suspect it was Heathrow’s new full body scanner and a male operative making absolutely sure she had nothing on, er, I mean like bombs. So thank you Heat for keeping us aware and informed, and armed with the facts. Oh and Stiffmouse will hopefully soon be performing live at The Gardeners Rest. I’ll keep you posted.
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