Carbon Offsetting.

Hey, what if carbon emissions aren’t the cause of global warming? Boy then we could sleep easy in our beds. We could leave the light on and fly to Parga in sure knowledge it won’t make a difference. We could even revert to old fashioned light bulbs that light when you turn them on. Cows could fart with impunity. Ah bliss. Of course we don’t want to be profligate but it would be nice to know it’s not our fault. Nope it’s not our fault, it’s just happening naturally, nothing to do with us, it’s totally beyond our control. OMG! No, no it must be carbon emissions, it has to be. So back to carbon offsetting. That’s where you produce carbon and pay me for not doing. Well not actually not producing carbon, just reducing what I used to produce. Of course if I didn’t make any to begin with I couldn’t reduce it. It’s a bit like banking. But offsetting is a great idea for applying elsewhere. Health offsetting? That’s where I pay you for being poorly when I am fine. Lost a leg? I pay you because I’ve still got two. A bit doolally? £10 a year from Melvin Brag. Wealth offsetting. I pay in so you get a pay out. Salary offsetting. I earn less so you can earn more. Employment offsetting. You work less so I can get a job And so on. Oh, and sex offsetting? I’m not sure how that would work. Anyway, is it just me or is it getting hot in here?