Prophets and Losers.

I’m sorry but there’s no getting away from it, prophets are troublemakers. OK they may be good sorts and well meaning but having a direct line to God must be a very tricky business. Jesus and Mohammed have caused a thousand years of wars. Not their personal fault admittedly but they forget the rest of us are heathens who will use them to pin all sorts of beliefs on we decide are worth fighting for. 2,000 years on and Protestants, Anglicans and Roman Catholics are just about talking to each other, and 1,500 years on Sunni and Shia Muslims are still killing each other over who should have succeeded Mohammed, his friend or his cousin. Apparently Sunnis wash before prayers and Shias wipe while I imagine Sufis twirl. Can we focus on the bigger picture people! God must be totally pissed off with the human race. It tries to get its message across and we say, “yeh right, good stuff, now I can go and cut people’s heads off.” “But didn’t I just said that was wrong.” “Yes but these people are getting right up my nose.” “Isn’t you nose a rather stupid way of judging other people?” “But I’m doing it for you.” “Well don’t you stupid arsehole. If you want to do something useful strap on a bomb belt and stand over there all on your own and …. Heaven awaits my son and all the virgins you can bonk. But remember, I work in mysterious ways.”