The Belief of Uselessness.

Whilst forking out a six inch layer of compacted cow shit and straw Andraemouse tells me about his friend. Early twenties, currently living with his gran because he was thrown out of his last flat and completely unskilled. He was asked to leave his call centre job for only coming in when he felt like it and lost another for bone idleness. He lasted a day at the farm in which he did precious little work. He thus can’t provide a decent reference and refuses jobs that are beneath him. Likewise he can’t find a girlfriend that reaches his elevated standards. He does play the drums though. Andraemouse, me, and probably you by now, will be considering this guy a complete future-less waste of space but the conundrum is how come he doesn’t realise it? I mean 2 and 2 equals 4 right and this guy’s failure is about as simple to understand. You could write it in a flow diagram. ‘Are you skilled > no > go to crap job. Are you lazy > yes > lose crap job. Have you any money > no > lose flat. Have you a job, a flat, money > no > girls not interested.’ But there’s a phrase, a magical get out clause that will always come to the rescue, “Yes but…” It replaces the logical practicalities of life with a fictional creation that somehow makes sense in one’s own cognitive universe. Change will occur without change occurring. It’s the wonder of imagination. But before dismissing him entirely there is a deeper rational to consider. Our conscious mind is just a post justifier of deeper decisions, implicit givens, made away from our conscious sight. Once a decision is made our conscious simply fluffs it up with presentable justifications. So what might this guy have unknowingly decided or been taught a long time ago? That he is pretty useless. My equivalent lesson has been that I can do pretty much anything with a bit of application and learning. I set about any new situation with a sure knowledge I can master it so that every opportunity becomes a possible source of enjoyable fulfilment. Truth is I can be a pain in the arse if I let this hidden imperative take over. But if my lesson had been the opposite, like him, I would see new situations as a sure fire way of showing up my uselessness. I wouldn’t want to learn or work because of the same consideration. Consciously I would have grand aspirations and a ready answer to other people’s condemnations, and be quite unaware of this deeper motivation. Ask me if I think I’m useless and I’d say no. So t’s quite likely this guy isn’t useless at all, only a hidden belief that he is, which unfortunately is enough to make his belief come true.