My wife recently had swine flu. For twelve days her body just said ‘no’, and more importantly so did her brain. ‘Do you, Brain, want to make a shopping list, work on my project, even do a jigsaw puzzle?’ All calls for cognition were met with ‘no’. No question, no debate, no ‘OK I’ll try’, just nietto, non, no. Maybe swine flu is so called because it makes you think like a pig. I’m not being derogatory, I respect pigs, they’re very intelligent, but they are warned at birth by their mothers about the dangers of thinking. Give a pig a jigsaw puzzle, it will eat it, a newspaper, a ten pound note, a plane ticket to Los Palmas, it will eat them. They learn one word, oink, and that’s it. They refuse to read books, they eat them, and they don’t do politics, though there is some debate about that, art or furniture design. Their brain is free to permanently muse in some whimsical candyfloss hinterland without the hint of aspiration. Happiness requires only food and suitable conditions for complete relaxation. This was my wife’s experience. The result was profound. Ten short days of freedom from mental clockwork, ten short days discovering the wonder of simply being.
In fact bring on the pandemic, the human race needs it! But think of the consequences for world governments! This is financial meltdown! Whatever.’ Have you read my report? ‘No but it tasted good.’ You got 1% in your exam! Explain. ‘Oink.’
No wonder they’re rushing out that vaccine. (which apparently contains mercury by the way)
No comments:
Post a Comment