Marriage Guidance (inc Rodents)

How’s your relationship? Do you have little niggles with your partner that sometimes flare up? Do you by an innocent momentary oversight give rise to some inconsiderate hurt? Are things getting a little samey in the bedroom? Don’t worry we at Stiffmouse Marriage Guidance have the answer. Why not introduce pesky rodents into your relationship. If for example having eaten your own cupcake and then unwittingly gone on to eat your partner’s cupcake offer the explanation, “Squirrel.” “Oh really?” “Yes it came in and…” and look cute like a three-year-old. Your partner will be unable to maintain any animosity. Say for example you left the remote in the bread bin or the kitchen in an absolute mess, “Squirrels”. The only comeback is, “then we really must keep that back door closed more”. “Yes, I mean who’d of thought they could eat all that Simnel cake and make me stay in bed all morning.” Yes squirrels can account for all those day-to-day niggles that blight any relationship and maintain affectionate equanimity. And in the bedroom squirrels can account for any number of playful nips and tickles, and playing ‘Hunt the squirrel’ will guarantee hours of foreplay leading to sexual gratification. After in-depth research on introducing one or more squirrels into a relationship we can personally attest to its positive benefits. Other’s feedback. “After my wife explained it was squirrels that burn our dinner I simply didn’t feel my customary anger and disappointment.” (Jack, Stanstead) “Roger totally forgets about his arthritis since we’ve started playing ‘Hunt the Squirrel. He’s like a new man.” (Judith, Bristol)