Mountain Dew.

Well this is the wackiest thought I’ve ever had. The pyramids were built at a time of climatic change in the region; North Africa was slowly turning from lush forest to semi desert and there was a mass migration into Egypt from what’s now the Sahara. The most important thing all those extra people needed was water. So what if the Pyramids were giant dew collectors? Obviously now they’re not, the surface has gone and it’s far too dry, but if the sides were glassy dew might form and be collected at the bottom for irrigation. Winds would flow round and over the surfaces so that millions of cubic meters of air would contact the cold surfaces and drop moisture. OK it’s a wacky idea but everyone knows razor blades hadn’t been invented back then. And this myth about them being tombs is only because they buried their rulers in the foundations which is only like cementing George W Bush in the basement of the new Ground Zero building, and we’d all like to do that.