Ich Glaube Nicht, es.

Okie dokie boys and girls, more euro comedy gold. After the period where the Germans carried money around in water butts and hollowed out hippo carcasses they loved the stable Deutsche Mark. In the seventies even our gov was highly envious compared with our own British Blot. Inflation had been ground into the ground under the DM heel. They didn’t want to give it up for the euro so they insisted the euro have the same fiscal basis as the DM, i.e. DM mark 2. What followed was pure Coronation Street. The Gearmans’ lived in the large end of terrace with garage and central heating, a few had aspirational loft conversions and the rest still had outside loos and Ascot heaters. The Gearmans’ suggested they all go out for a meal together but insisted everyone must have enough money to pay their share. Mrs LoftConversions said, “I’m not getting pushed around by that swanky bitch”, but the Ascot heaters saw it as a possible leg-up in the world. Those who could afford it, France, Austria, Benelux etc were reticent about joining the euro but Spain, Portugal, Greece etc who couldn’t afford it because their tyrannical father had recently died, were hot to trot. Everyone discussed it behind closed doors. The Gearmans’ daren’t voice their opinion that their poorer neighbours couldn’t afford it, the LoftConversions daren’t comment on the Ascots’ propensity to squander money on booze and fags so they all set out for La Splendifico Italianos restaurant of dreams where the Gearmans’ ate seriously, the LoftConversions minded their P’s and Q’s and the Ascots got pissed and insisted on taking seventeen over-ordered meals home in doggy bags. At the end of the evening the bill arrived. And they all said, "I don't believe it!" (Ich Glaube Nicht, es.)