So I get a phone call from a chirpy East Asian voice. She tells me my computer is downloading malicious software and will run slow and shortly explode. OK this is a sales pitch or some sort of scam. I let her run on and tell her I rarely use it to see how she’ll plough on regardless. “So are you at your computer right now?” I decide that’s enough, we’re getting into deep water and I say I’m not interested. Then she says she wrote a poem this morning about how she misses home and would I like to hear it. Pardon? I say OK and she reads it. It’s short, snappy and covers the basis of mom and dad and meals round their table etc. She explains she’s a long way from home for the job and asks “Did you like it?” I say yes and I hoped she could go and visit them soon. She says thank you, wishes me well and says goodbye.
I am left revolving. What just happened? Am I too cynical, am I falling behind on current scam techniques, is there some cultural difference at play? Then again if I worked in a call centre I’d stray from the script. In fact during a holiday job filling in endless order dockets I used them to practice extreme lettering styles, which is typographically the same. I was reprimanded.
And now Mothermouse has received an alumni magazine from the University of Westminster complete with her own membership number. She didn’t know the University of Westminster even existed let alone be an ex student. What’s going on? We can only hope cold calling is finally succumbing to the insanity inherent in its concept.
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