Dead Elephant Anybody?

So it’s party house cleaning time, it being my birthday tomorrow, and good reason to take a heap of crap to the tip from its septic corner by the shed. I put it in Dorothy, our Renault Scenic. A lovely sunny day, what could go wrong? Well it transpires a small amount of festering water from this crap dribbled onto the boot carpet and gave forth an eye-watering, nose abusing smell that, had my nose been a small child, would have spent many years in prison. That such a small amount of liquid could produce such a rank odour is truly remarkable. Returning from the tip I removed the carpet and power washed it with bleach while an unsuspecting Mothermouse took Dorothy to Sainsburys. On her return she complained she could hardly drive because of the smell. This was becoming a difficult situation: A mechanically perfect new-ish car one can’t drive yet could never sell either. It’s like finding yourself with the ripe carcass of a dissolving dead elephant on the drive. Well not so much a drive, more a ‘d’ in our case. I’m thinking my only option is to put it on e-bay and apologise for having a particularly bad personal body odour problem on the test drive. It’s humiliating but what other option do I have?