Other people's Poo.

The animals waste quite a lot of hay dropping it on the ground while they’re eating it. I used to thing OK they’re just dumb animals, what do you expect, but we sell cups of grass pellets to feed goats, donkeys etc for £1 and today I spent an hour scraping up a mud of dropped pellets from outside their pens. Probably about £20 worth. So much for human superiority. In fact all of them are showmen; I’ve been watching them work the crowd. No food, no interest. “Move along if you’ve not got pellets; cup carriers only thank you.” If you’ve got a cup they’re as cute as hell but cupless, bugger off. Time and time again today people have come up going, “Oh look at the baby goat’s poking their heads under the fence to feed off the ground.” Don’t believe it, it’s a con! It’s just another cute ploy. Their parents tell them to do it so they’re clear to eat what comes over the fence, and basically you can’t fill up a goat. They may look bony but they can digest food quicker than you can feed them. All they do is shit more, which is why I was in with them all afternoon. In fact I’m getting quite resentful. There I am cleaning up after the bloody things and all these young mothers can do, some of which are quite tasty, is go all gooey over the stupid shitting grass eaters. What about me! I’m not only intellectually superior, good looking and roughly the same species as them, I’m knee deep in goat excrement out of the goodness of my heart! No ‘oh look at the cute farmer man, what are you doing after work?’ No, I’m the one covered in poo. Well it’s not mine!