Squirrels Rule.

Is there some Darwinian root to wealth acquisition? I mean I’ve been watching our cats and though they jealously guard what they want at that moment anything else is anybodies. I guess squirrels store nuts on the basis it gives them something to do in spring, but mostly nature is Marxist, “each according to his needs”, except they eat each other. So the acquisition of wealth on the scale practiced at the moment is wholly unnatural. It’s the equivalent of a single squirrel stashing away all the nuts south of Birmingham. It couldn’t realistically collect them all itself or eat them, but it has them. So the processes of acquisition have strayed horrendously from the path of wants and needs. Also this squirrel sees no abnormality in keeping what he has and wanting more. He wants it, needs it, and he deserves it. He sees no correlation between what he has and what others are going without. In nature with its checks and balances this couldn’t happen. If cats and squirrels have this all figured out one’s only conclusion is that humanity has a lot of catching up to do. We’re not the staring lead in this earthen Shakespearian production we’re the inglorious clod chorus incapable of following the plot. We’ve eaten the apple of our own knowledge and left the garden stage. It’s a bitter pill to swallow that we’ve been wrong all along, that our name in lights was just a figment of our own imagination when we’re being rudely woken in the dumpster behind the theatre. “How can this be?” we cry. A big boomy voice says, “You’ve fucked up”. It’s the director from that place way up high at the back of the theatre. But we’re trying so hard. “Exactly.” Surely he can’t be blaming us for trying. “This is an ensemble piece people, there’s no room for individuals with an inferiority complex grabbing centre stage all the time.” Inferiority complex? He’s gone mad. How can we the singular most superior species of actor have an inferiority complex? “Think about it.” Well that’s no answer. We is severely disgruntled at this point. “Take Act 2. When the squirrels are doing their big number about how much they love nuts, what made you think it was a good idea to drown them out with ‘But they don’t have no mo-ney’?” Well that’s just a fact isn’t it. “And?” Will you stop doing that. “What?” Stop making us think uncomfortable thoughts, it’s very confusing. “And when all the animals were singing Circle of Life you elbowed your way to the front shouting, ‘but we know the management.’ What was that supposed to mean?” It means we have a special relationship with him. In fact we’re thinking of rewriting the whole show and since you ask getting a new director. “Really?” Yes. Do you know the O2 Apollo on Mars? “Never been there, only do Earth.” Well there you see. If we can’t get our way here we’ll just go somewhere else, it’s that simple. “OK they’ve had their say, throw them back in the dumpster.”