My New Word.

I have a new word. Mothermouse was in the kitchen singing, “I would catch a grenade for you,….” It’s a song about being in love. When challenged as to its value as a realistic sentiment MM, being an ex English teacher said it was metaphorical. I decided it was bolloctical; that’s my new word. It means ‘expressing one thing in terms of another in order to knowingly mislead.’ The young lady plied with this bolloctical statement will immediately picture herself as Whitney Huston being bodyguarded by Kevin Costner and probably burst into, “Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeiii will always love yoooooooooooou…..” She will completely overlook the fact her adoring twerp fresh out of Y11 will be picturing Sergeant Diehard in Call of Duty II, Black Ops edition. He will completely overlook the fact that Call of Duty II, Black Ops edition doesn’t have a love interest, and perhaps more importantly that grenades in real life hurt. This young lad should also posit the question, why is someone throwing a grenade at his girlfriend? Is she trouble or Syrian? Conversely is she one of Bashar al-Assad’s elite mercenary troops? Does he really want to be in the middle of a blood bath? But I suggest the simple addition of ‘bolloctical’ to the English language will solve all these dilemmas. ‘Sorry dear it was just a bolloctical statement contrived in my immature mind to convince you that I fancy you in order that you provide me of your unique amenities.’ It would provide a usefully specific location for all our bolloctically-motivated declarations. End of coffee break; the car won’t clean itself.