Just passed a Heat magazine on the fridge. On the cover is a stick thin model with massive boobies as in, “No darling these are not mummies tities they are mummies boobies” as I heard a mom teach her five year old son. Well these breasts would feed triplets if they hadn’t been plastically enlarged. I feel I aught to tell young women wishing for plastic enhancement that ‘men are stupid’. If we had a choice we would plump for a marrow in the trousers requiring a triple D codpiece. I base this assertion on the majority of motorcycles on the Isle of Man, namely 1000cc monsters capable of devouring your license on a trip to Tescos. Most would top 50mph with a sneeze. And they weigh tons. If the bike test required you to lift your bike back upright from 45 degrees no one would pass. No, men may lust for bigness but if we get it we can’t cope with it. We may walk around with the pride of owning a GSX1000R in our eye but come to park it on a slope and we need the help of several weight lifters. And when we proudly drive off under an admiring gaze we lurch forward, realise we’ve left the disc lock on and keel over trapping a leg under the thing thus requiring the weight lifters again. This has been my personal experience anyway. So ladies it’s not that ample size isn’t appreciated it’s that we become daunted by it and can’t really cope. We’re more likely to think it’s huge fun to play them like bongos, go bilabilabila between them or play 'pat-a-cake pat-a-cake bakers man' with them, which I don’t think is the full on sensual experience you’re looking for. So Ms Plug I’d go for a nice 660 SZR rather than an R1 Yamaha. They may be super sporty but not many guys can get the best out of them.
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