Alternative Boris Response.

“The gatherings referred to by the opposition as boozy parties did occur and I was present. I sanctioned them for respite from months of hard work and long days. Work that didn’t make the news, isn’t glorious but has been none the less vital and stressful. Even in No10 moral needs to be maintained. To set these events against the anguish and sorrow of people dying unable to be with their loved ones is to set up a surreal Punch and Judy show, a cartoon black and white picture of good and bad that is not the case. The opposition and the media make me extremely angry and frankly disgusted by people who choose to capitalise on this spurious juxtaposition for personal gain. Would you begrudge a doctor after a 12 hours shift having a pint with his fellow colleagues or a nurse sharing her stress with friends? No. We all have stress after two long years of this life changing pandemic. My team at No10 is no different and I make no apology for these events. These are my views and I will gladly continue or resign on the basis of them.” Boris’s actual speech and demeanour was very different. He seems unable to respond in anything other than what he learnt as a pupil caught smoking behind the bike sheds. First deny knowing anything, then deny being there, then suggesting it was some sort of misguided lung experiment and finally a pathetic apology based on a bigger boy making him do it. Boris is unfit for office not because of these meeting but because he hasn’t progressed from the age of twelve, where ‘his truth’ is telling you what he’d like you to believe. He hasn’t the courage to be honest or the guts and guile to fight his corner. He is not an adult.