My Brexit Strategy.

“David we must get out of the EU, in 2019 they’re introducing financial rules that will decimate our off-shore funds. I have an idea. Call a referendum immediately, you’ve told the electorate you would.” “But I might lose it.” “That’s the point, we will lose it. I’ve already talked to Cambridge Analytica. They’ve got a Facebook campaign planned and have lots of call centre capacity. Forget Leave we’re going to call it Brexit it’s more sexy. We’ll set up official campaigns with great slogans. We can promise anything because we’re not governed by normal election rules.” “But where does that leave me I’m supposed to be for Remain?” “You just pretend to fight for Remain and if it goes our way you just resign, you’ve had your turn at PM, take a long holiday, disappear for a bit. Also it must be a straight in out race no two thirds majority, anything like that. No need to make it binding because when we win we can just bang on about following the will of the people. Advisory sounds better than binding anyway. It gives people a chance to put a finger up at us. That’s the beauty of it. By voting against us they’ll be doing what we want. I love it.” “So who’ll take over as PM?” “It doesn’t matter. I mean not one of us.” “Really!” “No, so long as we hold the power we can drive it through. No it’s better the PM is a Remainer.” “You think it’ll work?” “Sure.” “But what about the country?” “Look all our money is outside the UK, sure the economy will tank but it won’t affect us. Or would you rather be discredited, possibly jailed and get a humongous tax bill? Think of the children old boy.”