Tories Fake Facebook.

Whilst Cambridge Analytica and AIQ continue to assert they've never heard of each other and have done no paid or unpaid work for the Brexit arm of the Conservative Party with regard to window cleaning, hoovering and drain clearance it is their wholly owned subsidiary, Tinglytot Baskets Ltd, that has come under suspicion. Originally set up in the fifties by Edward Heath’s black sheep brother Harry Tots, Tinglytot Baskets was the erstwhile bastion of innocent relief for MPs living away from their wife and family after hard days debating for their beloved country. Stiffmouse News can now reveal that Tinglytot’s has though moved into new areas. After their success with internet porn, jointly owned by Russian oligarch Vladimir Bollockoff, Tinglytot’s has made use of Cambridge Analytica’s pointless and of no commercial value whatsoever software to set up hundreds of fake Facebook accounts claiming to represent the Jew-hating anti-Semitic arm of the Labour Party. Throughout February we followed Svetlana Blum, Michael Gove’s au pair, and Boris Johnson’s niece, Ursula Mountbatten to their local internet café in Bloomsbury. Why we asked would two beautiful women frequently spend hours typing? Our surveillance expert took this screen shot (not shown here for copyright reasons) of Svetlana working on the ‘Labour Party against filthy Jewish Scum’ Facebook page. When challenged she said her eyesight was bad and she thought it was a gardening catalogue. When asked about Tinglytot Basket’s role in the Brexit referendum she denied any knowledge saying, “Vot ist Brecshit? I am merely a simple Ukrainian exile taking refuge in your vunderful country. Mister Gove is a warm and genuine human being, I think he works for the council.” Ursula, an ‘actress’ from Tinglytot’s earlier internet success, said she was Skyping her brother in Palestine. So there you have it. Are these two beautiful young women lying or is the Labour Party a hot bed of radical racism? You decide.