Snowden Leaks.

Monday 9am, the Home Service (R4 if you’re a modernist) ‘Internet privacy’: 9.45am ‘Urban Gardens.’ So Facebook and Vodaphone et al, which means every corporate, governmental and no doubt criminal body in cyberdom, knows my name, location, what I look like and my every mouse move, which being a mouse is very intrusive indeed. They will know I’m married to Mothermouse, I live here, love guitars and bikes and my mobile number, a nugget of personal data even I can’t remember. In fact there’s so much personal data out there about each one of us that some enterprising auntrapanaur will soon provide a site that will tell us where we’ve  left our car keys, phone, whether we actually do like Potatoes au Gratin or where we’ve tucked our birth certificate in a safe place, and even how to spell auntrapanaur. At this point I feel so exposed I wonder if I should apologise for all the murders. As it is all this information only allows advertisers the merest glimmer of hope that by cold calling, popups, numerous emails and targeted ads they’ll induce me to buy things I’ve either just bought or already decided I don’t want. Never have I received an intrusion that’s prompted me to think, “Mmm, never thought of owning a hippo but you know I think it would be nice for the kids to play with, I’ll buy one.” All this data mining is, like oil, free at the point of extraction and, like oil only big companies can extract it and sell it on to other big players. Individuals, mere lumps of coal in the process, have no say in the matter. The result is a heavily angled playing field with a handy funnel built around the goal. At the other end our noble banks and corporation like HSBC and Shell collude with corruption to pillage the third world via shell companies of their natural resources while their lumps of coal go hungry with apparent impunity. And then there’s urban gardens. Do you realise that days after digging your new pond or planting some Campanula carpatica every local bee, newt, frog and butterfly will know what you’ve been doing? Your cat knows, obviously, everything about you and your dog, when it’s not asleep, watches you like a hawk for signs of intention. Just don’t go out there you’ll feel naked! Which isn’t a bad idea in this weather. And No Screwfix! I do not want another cordless drill!!!!!