Male & Female Socialising.

“Men socialise by insulting each other but they don’t really mean it. Woman socialise by complementing each other and they don’t really mean it either.”


I feel a myriad of sparkles going off in my head, recognitions from many different angles. I’d love to be able to take the piss but I’m not good at it, too serious, but feel so comfortable with mates who do. Each derogatory phrase feels like a little hug of acceptance. Guys who can’t take it are often needled till they do or huff themselves out of the circle. It’s a right of passage. In a group of men who don’t take the piss there’s always an element of bonding missing, and God forbid a group that complements each other, I’d feel like a fish up a tree. So how come wisecracking insults feel like complements and are meant as such? And, come to think about it, how come complements are OK when it comes to “a most excellent fuck-up” or a “well broken leg, you twat”? I mean nearly choke to death on a popadom and as far as your mates are concerned you’re a stand-up comic. And even at the funeral, if it came to it, there’d be someone who couldn’t resist saying, “Should have put your nob in his gob, that would have cleared it”, ha ha ha. No, it’s a gross world being a bloke. And then there’s, “I love your hat” women. What’s that about? I begin to wonder if it’s all about self-ego massage. Our capacity to exit sounds on our own escaping air is primarily a personal systemic thing. It may carry some miniscule intention to be heard by others but at some unconscious level the intended listener is oneself. Maybe these modes of socialising relate to the different colours of male and female egos. One wants to be the macho survivor, the other the queen of her own domain. Insults confer one in the mind of the say-er and complements confer the other. And that’s why husbands should rib their wives at every opportunity, because it’s more important to survive than to imagine oneself royalty.