A Troll’s oh yes!

If you watched the last two episodes of Merlin you’ll no doubt be aware of the fetching Troll featured therein. Though full of fart and disgusting habits her intense enjoyment of rotten fruit and dung, and her gleeful pursuance of self-interest made for a strangely appealing character. So much so that, as I was in the house on my own, I found myself muttering, Troll-like at the washing up and grunting at the settee as I shambled, Troll like past. This was fun. Here was a female that Photoshop could do nothing for. She was happy with her warts. Nor could any finishing school remove her enjoyment of bad habits. As my wife missed the episode we watched it the following evening and she too, being a woman who enjoys her windy noises, found the idea of Trolling fun and such a merciful release from doing what one should do and considering what one aught to consider. Where muttering obscenities, snorting and pfwarting and one’s heart felt ugliness goes un-judged. I look forward to many happy evenings so doing. In fact my mind is now moving on to Troll sex. Two half bent slobbering figures in a dimly lit bedroom grunting enjoyment at every touch, deep growl mutterings, slaps and scratchings, and all in blissful ignorance of consideration, decorum, judgment and “how was that for you?” More, “Cumear you beauty, pfarp, scratch. Ere, snort, mumbly sort of snort, nuzzle, luv this, aahhh, slobber, root. I’s got you a chocolate moose wiv raisins in, slurp, mutual slurp, enjoyment snort. Slap, geroff. Pfaaaaaaarp. Lovely.” That sort of thing.