Lockdown day? Your donkey can't count.

I have a book called, ‘A Mind of its Own.’ It’s a while since I read it but in these crazy times it might be worth revisiting. One’s brain is after all in the ultimate lockdown, in a pitch-black soundless skull relying only on incoming signals from the senses. From these it has to decide what to do, and it’s so busy doing that it only contacts your consciousness with its decisions after it’s done. And you thought you were in charge. Nope. Only when your conscious receives the result does it then go to work inventing a reason for it. ‘I’m afraid- I hit out- why did I do that? – oh because you’re being stupid’, or ‘I see black flakes falling past the window- no information- why? – must be building work.’ No, the building was on fire. This post rationalisation gets us into all kinds of trouble, especially when we’re prone to believing every word we say. After three weeks of intensive therapy training my most useful conclusion was, “I have a donkey head!” and I must use my limited conscious intelligence to interrogate the donkey’s braying rather than swallow everything it’s telling me. I mustn’t ignore it because it’s my donkey but, well you know what donkeys are like. So therapy can suggest ways of perceiving one’s donkey’s bad habits and training it out of them. A simple way is to ask, “Why the fuck is my donkey telling me that?” But be kind to it, donkeys have many ways of not cooperating. Be kind but firm. Gently explain that the last time, and all the other times, it told me that another drink would be a good idea didn’t end well did they? After our current crisis when the old donkey habit of wanting more and more starts up again it’s worth explaining that we’ve been the most profligate generation in human history and should be deeply ashamed. And it’s all down to our donkey’s inability to count. Sure our consciousness ‘knows’ about numbers but an untrained donkey just thinks, “Have I finished my last meal? Right then, must be time for my next.” It, I, you, we can’t really conceive of counting. That must sound ridiculous, surely we’re surrounded by numbers. True but we basically conceive of numbers in a ‘more’ or ‘less’ fashion. Take £3 or £4, which would you rather have? The decision is easy. Then take £275,442 or £275,443. The decision feels immaterial because neither is sufficiently more or less than the other. Whatever your worth from £100 to a £100 million a change of 50% is highly significant, 20% is significant and 1% is insignificant. That’s the rule not the amount. Only when we realise our donkey can’t count, only compare, can we lose our profligate ways. In fact I’ve come to the conclusion our brain organ functions totally on comparison. Our synapses create dot-to-dot meta pictures where only a change in the ambient marks the difference between happiness or misery. Basically our brain only developed in the first place as an aid to finding our next meal. So be aware of your donkey but for god sake don’t believe what it’s telling you.