Lock Down Diaries. Day 2.

Linda Sell’s sitting up! Phew. I don’t listen much to the Archers but I couldn’t live without that voice in the world. Oh but now my coffee’s got no sugar in it! It’s like all I’m doing is sitting around waiting for the Corvid to get me. Aren’t crows Corvids? Something’s changed. It’s day 2 and.. I mean why is up until two days ago I would happily mong around the house for days, even weeks quite happily mending a spatula or straightening a fork and now? Well it’s all pointless. What good is a straightened fork against.. I mean you can’t prong them like peas, the little bastards. I’m thinking we should cast the net of death tables a good bit wider than the daily virus scores. And don’t forget the little bastards are cynically taking all the credit for all the ‘underlying health problems’ too. Mark my words, two months on the wider death tables will be:- Corvid-180, suicide-105(underlying mental problems), starvation-673(underlying shopping problems), household accidents-448(underlying electrical faults) and domestic violence-1,003(underlying marital problems) We must not let the little bastards take all the credit for everything. And if I go down when our electric show falls into my bath I will insist, last dying breath, “it’s nowt to do wi’t that bloody virus, it was mi own stupid fault.” That’ll teach it. To be honest my low mood is because it’s raining, and that’s always been the case. I told Mothermouse my best chance was to get it early before the NHS is in lockdown to which she, always quick with a helpful suggestion, said, “Good idea. Why don’t you go out and lick a railing.”