Time was me and Mothermouse as the dominant species
fed the cats, plus the crows, pigeons, squirrels, hedgehogs and other small
birds visiting our back garden. That was how it should be. Lately though by the
looks of things the cats or rather one of them has taken on the role of sub
feeder. It’s difficult to know which one exactly. Britney has the intelligence
but not a maternal bone where Betty has the neurosis and a vestigial motivation
to snuggle up with Dave and smell his bottom. Anyway one of them has taken to
placing a small woollen toy with ears and eyes in a feeding bowl presumably in
the hope of rearing it. Granted the bowl was always empty but then as a
responsible parent one must always feed first in order to continue one’s caring
responsibilities. Nevertheless there it was three or four times carefully
placed in a bowl. Until, as is often the case, the maternal instinct failed in
the face of a night time feed not going to plan. In the morning the said
woollen toy was de-stranded on the dining room carpet like the remains of a jet
plane hitting a hillside. Strands of orange wool all over the place in no
particular order. End of cat toy number 1. A week went by. A grey material blob
of a toy with arms and legs, god knows what it’s supposed to be, appeared in a
bowl last Sunday. But this is made of sterner stuff, fabric sewn together in an
unknown Indonesian factory by an unknown Indonesian factory worker brought into
this world to make indefinable cat toys. What will be its fate? Will the
maternal instinct win out? Or will the teeth and claws of Betty, we think it’s
Betty, cause another infanticide? It’s a right cliff-hanger.
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