Daughters & Mothers.

Being male I can only off a different purely experiential perspective. The mother is the relationship hub of the family. Fathers and sons relate indirectly via the mother. They may have a good loving relationship but it somehow feels indirect, at arms length, and mostly via shared interests. Because of this it’s rare males emotionally compete. Mothers pass this relational hub role to daughters but while the daughter/s still at home there’s two hubs when there can only really be one and because women relate directly the result in whatever form is intense. It’s not a simplistic vying for the mother role but to a greater or lesser extent a suffocating tension. Daughters rarely fledge like sons do. There’s always a mother role comparison hidden deep. I find it quite hard to imagine a mother saying, “I’m completely fulfilled with your father sweetheart, I love you but do what the hell you like.” It seems to me this suffocation can rob women, who were all once daughters, of fully-fledged confidence. Men by comparison usually have, whether well founded or not, a certain confidence in themselves as a person. Most parental relationships aren’t perfect mostly because the husband does not fulfil his wife but that’s not the same as blaming patriarchy in general but individual masculine development failing to acquire enough feminine energy just as feminine development can fail to acquire masculine energy. I suspect a lack of the arms length masculine relational energy is the fundamental cause of mother/daughter suffocation.