GoogleMe.

Hi Dave, thank you for using GoogleMe; we hope you enjoy it. We have 3,776 data points for you since 2009 so our conclusions will average 89.3% accuracy. Firstly congratulations on your recent wedding anniversary and hope your new rotavator is proving useful. As a keen motorcyclist the 2019 MotoGP season is shaping up well but your Yamaha motorcycle seems to be problematic. As spares are becoming rare we suggest you invest in a newer one. See here for local dealers. We note your daughter, Emily, has purchased legal highs, (via ebay) which may indicate a drugs problem, and has lesbian tendencies. (64%) It may be worth raising the subject. See here for local therapists. Your son Donald has accepted a job in Brighton (via LinkedIn) so he may be moving away soon. We’re sorry to say your marital relationship shows signs of jeopardy. (Twitter) We cannot comment on your wife’s situation for privacy reasons but you should address the problem. Finally you are not as good a person as you think you are. Your interest in internet porn has become excessive and casts doubt on your love life. That’s understandable as your wife is size 20 and has chubby features but hours of TV football doesn’t help plus your obsession with getting that old bike working. A lot of work to do there. See here for local counsellors. Your IQ is 5% below average and your credit score 20% so take extra care with your finances. You have a borderline ADHD personality disorder (71%) and you too have latent homosexual tendencies. (43%) Your general situation will be affected by global warming; expect wetter springs and hotter summers, and the value of the pound is likely to fall by 10% after exiting the EU. Expect water to be increasingly scarce. We hope you enjoyed our findings. Remember you can get regular updates via our voice bot available in these stores. Have a nice day.

9/11 Gov-Splaining.

After 9/11 I looked for the truth. Over the subsequent years it’s appeared. It was impossible for the terrorist rookie ‘pilots’ to fly a passenger plane on the trajectories they took. It’s also impossible a passenger plane could actually do it. It’s impossible passengers could have used cell phones at the altitude they were flying and it’s impossible a building could collapse due to fire alone. The official ‘truth’ is riddled with these and more impossibilities. There’s a constant clear dividing line between officials who gave testimony to corroborate the official line and the bewildered others who gave the evidence of their own eyes and experience. Architects, scientists, pilots and firemen have all given proof of the above. Others say something so big, so public could never be kept secret, which is true, but the truth has come out and it’s no longer a secret. And lets not forget 2,731 people died. Whoever coined the phrase ‘conspiracy theory’ salvaged this hopeless case; just two words that undermine any inconvenient naysayer. But it’s become clear there was a huge conspiracy within the US government and other actors. Imagine a petri dish and the introduction of a single bacteria. It infects and spreads through the nutrient agar. It grows and though we can’t see what’s happening it becomes visible. An idea is conceived and infects other actors. A plan is formed. It fits requirements, solves problems. People are either pragmatically unscrupulous or pressured to come around. Soon it achieves a momentum too big to be stopped. Those involved coalesce in great fear of the truth escaping and use their power to stop it. Known weak actors are called in to substantiate the bacterial untruth. Only immune cells stubbornly hold out. Outside the petri dish life goes on. And the key players? Who knows. Possibly NORAD, MOSAD, Larry Silverstein, the owner of the Twin Towers who turned two obsolete buildings into a huge insurance payout and/or higher. Maybe there was a mistake and the twin Towers were supposed to fall after everyone had got out. Or maybe I’m just a conspiracy theorist who refuses to believe in the impossible.

SZR660 Low Fuel Light Light Fix.

In all the years I’ve been writing this blog the most read post has always been ‘SZR660 headlight Modification.’ I’ve no idea why. At 97 views it’s more than double the number of that bike on UK roads. Maybe it’s the code name of a secret US missile, which would account for the 4,700 page views from Russia. Maybe it was the blog where I included all the words I could think of that might spike anti-terrorist interest. Anyway the wire broke to my new SZR660 low fuel light. Thanks bike shop! I took it apart. Simple enough, a float on a brass tube, but how did that switch the light on? Much head scratching later I remembered reed switches. They switch when close to a magnet so the float must have a magnet in it and the 2.7mm ID tube a reed switch inside, so when the float sinks its magnet sits around the reed switch and bingo. Fine but how do I get the old one out? In another dimension it would be just pull it out but in our particular physics that was impossible. Much ingenuity later including a lathe, a 2.6mm rod, RS Components and a gas flame I reassembled it with a new reed switch and an unbroken wire. In short it was a pig. If anyone’s interested I can give an in depth explanation. So now I can sit back and see how many reads this post gets. By the way an SZR660 is a Yamaha single cylinder sports bike that’s a 20 year old gem that nobody bought.